I thought it would be a relaxing weekend until I stumbled across this article in Sunday's Daily News. What a rag that paper is. They wrote about another Rat Squad scandal wherein a Rat Detective abused his power and threatened to "wreck" a street cop's career if he didn't "take care of" a summons this street cop issued to the rat's cousin.
Maybe we're not pulling these press credentials quickly enough. I left a message on Paul's phone. This is unacceptable. As to this rat, I have dispatched Mordechai and his team. By tomorrow morning, this "detective" will be living his worst nightmare. Mordechai is going to "render" this rat to a secret location, where he will be dressed in full uniform, given a vest, gunbelt, and radio, and will then be dropped off in the middle of the Brownsville Houses. Viper would have been too easy for this coward.
(Unfortunately, I can't reveal more about Mordechai, but let's just say David knows some people from his CIA days and the Police Foundation's counterterrorism funding provides for a bit more than just a few overseas Intelligence detectives. And that's really all I can discuss at this point.)
And don't even get me started on where Charlie is with all this. IAB is bursting apart at the seems here. I've ordered an immediate inventory of the department's current fresh cheese supplies. I suspect we may have run out of cheese and we all know a rat can't operate well on an empty stomach.
Update: Mordechai reports the rendition has been completed. They hit a few snags along the way. Apparently the rat expelled fecal matter into the interior of his uniform pants upon being informed that he would be occupying a foot post in the Brownsville Houses until further notice. Fresh uniform pants were quickly located and the rat is now proceeding with his nightmare assignment: real police work.
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