So I had a brief hiatus from writing in my little secret diary here, but fear not, I spent the interim doing important commissioner stuff. The good news is that I'm back in full force as of today. While I was away, I was busily pretending to be Jim Phelps, the Director of the Impossible Missions Force in the Mission Impossible TV series from back in the good old days. I commanded a really advanced clandestine-style computer crimes operation. (Whereby "commanded" I mean sat in my office here on the 14th floor sipping coffee and contemplating just how bloody awesome I am. I do that so much these days I think I forgot how to actually command anything beyond a private expedition to my office toilet for my morning dump.)
But back to the story at hand, my proof was printed by my loyal reporter minions at the Pravda... *cough*... I mean, of course, the NY Daily News newspaper. And by "loyal reporter minions" I mean independent journalists. Obviously.
Anyway, here it is:
"Cops nabbed more alleged scammers in a Touro College cash-for-grades sting, using techniques straight out of 'Mission: Impossible.'"
That's right. They said "Mission: Impossible." I am so f$@ing cool.
"Armed with a 'sneak-and-peek' search warrant, investigators from the NYPD computer crimes squad crept into Andrique Baron's admissions office at the school after hours."
Outstanding job by the computer crimes squad. Not because of the pinch itself, but simply because this article makes me look good. They could have spent the entire day doing cartwheels across campus for all I care. If the newspaper thinks it's good, so do I. And I'm really glad the reporters are always so dazzled by this kind of high-tech gadgetry that they forget to point out how cops in regular precincts are still using typewriters.
Yes, that's right.
Typewriters...
...in the year 2008. Mission: Impossible indeed. This will be our little secret, OK?