Gun buy-backs

Dear Sheeple,

While perusing the Daily News during breakfast this morning I was quite happy to read this puff piece about our latest Bronx gun buy-back stunt.

"'This was the most successful gun buy-back program to date,' Police Commissioner Ray Kelly said of the cash-for-guns swap at six churches across the borough."

"The haul included 296 revolvers, 174 semi-automatic pistols, 242 rifles and 163 shotguns - plus 21 assault weapons, 13 sawed-off shotguns and 78 other guns, including rifles painted pink to resemble toys."

What we didn't mention was how many of those guns were actually in operable condition. Remember, we're always happy to count grandpa's rusty old antique revolver from his collection of Civil War memorabilia. You know, that rusty piece of junk that hasn't been fired since 1865 and couldn't be used to kill anyone unless it was used to bash the victim's head in.

But what really made my day was the fact that the Daily News has been following Paul's propaganda bullet points to the letter:

"While Kelly cited statistics showing an overall drop in shootings recently - both intentional and accidental - the Bronx saw 13 shootings on the day of the buy-back, two of them fatal."

An "overall drop in shootings." Outstanding, I am relieved they didn't mention that little tid-bit those pricks at the New York Slimes printed a couple of days ago: "In 2008, even as gun killings fell, the number of killings committed with knives or other “cutting instruments” rose 50 percent in New York City, the Police Department said: to 125 from 83."

That's right, if they don't use a gun they revert to a knife. Who would have thought that? Isn't it the guns that kill, not people?

Paul deftly responded to those losers:

"“It is hard to say with certainty what accounts for the increase,” said Paul J. Browne, the chief spokesman for the New York Police Department."

An answer that sounds highly professional and knowledgeable but actually tells us nothing. Great work. Now I just need to add those New York Times assholes to my special "Delayed Press Credentials" list.